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Sun, 05 Aug 2012 21:26:13 -0700

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Sun, 05 Aug 2012 21:25:46 -0700

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Sun, 05 Aug 2012 19:50:30 -0700

you-looked-but-didnt-see: I love this..

Sun, 05 Aug 2012 19:49:53 -0700

you-looked-but-didnt-see:

I love this..

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Sun, 05 Aug 2012 19:48:52 -0700

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Sun, 05 Aug 2012 19:48:46 -0700

sunset. self portrait.

Fri, 27 Jul 2012 21:29:18 -0700

sunset.

self portrait.

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Thu, 26 Jul 2012 20:40:26 -0700

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Sun, 15 Jul 2012 17:05:36 -0700

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Sun, 15 Jul 2012 16:56:52 -0700

remediosthebeauty: Philip Barlow is an artist from South...

Sun, 15 Jul 2012 16:54:11 -0700

remediosthebeauty:

Philip Barlow is an artist from South Africa. He says of his work that he hopes it seems “curiously familiar and convincingly real”.

cosascool: MARTIN GROHS

Sun, 15 Jul 2012 13:26:39 -0700

cosascool:

MARTIN GROHS

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Sun, 15 Jul 2012 12:29:19 -0700

rewritingfairytales: 5 a.m. by B R A N D on Flickr.

Sun, 15 Jul 2012 12:10:42 -0700

rewritingfairytales:

5 a.m. by B R A N D on Flickr.

mplans: Smile. The World ain’t worth it anyways!

Sun, 15 Jul 2012 12:07:31 -0700

mplans:

Smile. The World ain’t worth it anyways!

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Sun, 15 Jul 2012 12:03:59 -0700

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Thu, 12 Jul 2012 21:54:49 -0700

July 1st: creative ice cream flavor day. Trying these bad boys...

Sun, 01 Jul 2012 15:03:21 -0700

July 1st: creative ice cream flavor day. Trying these bad boys out. (Taken with Instagram)

Things I Have Learned So Far In 2012

Thu, 28 Jun 2012 18:41:11 -0700

This year has not gone the way I expected it to at all. If you had asked me my hopes and dreams for 2012 back in December of 2011, my list probably would have consisted of saving money, controlling my attitude at work, improving my relationship with my fiancee, and focusing on our future together.

I sit here now single, in a new position at work, spending way too much money and with absolutely no direction for my future. My life changed New Year’s Eve, and not in a metaphorical way but a physical, tangible way that I couldn’t have even begun to imagine. The aftermath of that leaves me feeling like I wasted so much time on something I wasn’t even sure was worth it in any way, shape, or form aside from the fact that everything in life is a learning experience.

I was pretty down about it up until last week or so. Don’t get me wrong, I still have bizarre mood swings and can wake up one day feeling on top of the world, yet the next I feel smaller and more insignificant than the tiniest insect on the planet. But with a new found sense of clarification and a sunny outlook on the future — whatever THAT may consist of — I realized a few things about life and have a new set of rules to live by.

1. The harder you try to control something, the less control you actually have over it. I learned this the harder I tried to control the way things go at work, or trying to make everything follow a predetermined time schedule (aka married at 21, kids by 23…HA.) And I’ve noticed the more I relax my grip on things, the better they seem to flow.

2. That being said, there are ALWAYS things you should keep control of. For a few months I was drinking every weekend. I wasn’t nearing alcoholic status, but every Friday or Saturday night I was going out and not really caring how wasted I got because I always had a DD and felt comfortable around this group of people. I woke up every day after a night out feeling completely worthless and that I was squandering away valuable time off at a bar. You can’t let shitty times justify shitty decisions.

3. Be a little spontaneous. I just booked a weekend trip to Seattle, WA in October. Something I never would have done without extensive planning and budgeting last year. I was still nervous as hell, booking it. I don’t have a set plan or schedule for what I’ll do when I’m there. But the excitement of the trip and the feeling I had after clicking “book” was a high that I haven’t felt since, well, actually GETTING high.

4. As much as you want to bitch people out, give them the cold shoulder, or talk down to them, don’t. People at work were pissing me off so much with their inability to do even the most mundane tasks, and I dug myself into a hole for a little bit by taking on too much work and not delegating enough. After several very long heart to hearts with these coworkers, and a reconciliation with my boss, I find myself promoted and in a new position I wouldn’t have dreamed a possibility a few months ago. Even if it’s a little forced, nobody likes the negative Nancy in the group and won’t be there for you when you need them if you don’t cut them a little slack. Some of them just want to be given a chance to shine and need a little direction, not criticism.

5. Don’t surround yourself with shitty people. I’ve isolated myself recently because I have heightened expectations for the people I choose to associate myself with. If you’re still living a high school life, getting high/drinking every day, not working a good job, and hanging out with trash, you don’t have a place in my life. I’m not going to have a group of friends just so I feel like I have enough of a social life that’s considered “acceptable.” I’d rather be bored on a Friday night than out with people I have nothing in common with or am embarrassed to be seen with. Quality over quantity, and if it takes me awhile to find that group of people, so be it.

6. Do what makes you feel alive. I started back up with photography again and forgot how good it feels to book a shoot, follow through with it, and deliver stunning, high quality work to a client. Also, I’ve made it mandatory to take a few hours one night a week to put some headphones off and just disappear in music. Doing things like this keep you healthy and happy. And it also makes you feel more fulfilled when you have a talent that allows you to contribute something to the world.

7. And finally, love. I am a person who NEEDS love in her life. For awhile I thought I needed a person to love, and while that would be wonderful, I realize I am too lost and focused on myself to even begin making another person happy. I have to learn how to make myself happy first, and if I were to attempt a relationship now I’d probably only be settling.

This list could easily go on, but these seem to be the solid seven that I’ve been focusing on. At the midway point of 2012, I’m curious to see what the next six months bring, and hopefully at the end of it all, I can come out of it refreshed, renewed, and with a solid sense of purpose and direction for the rest of my life.

Beach Brother

Sat, 16 Jun 2012 16:27:43 -0700

Beach Brother

keep your love locked down.

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you-looked-but-didnt-see: I love this..

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sunset. self portrait.

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remediosthebeauty: Philip Barlow is an artist from South...

cosascool: MARTIN GROHS

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rewritingfairytales: 5 a.m. by B R A N D on Flickr.

mplans: Smile. The World ain’t worth it anyways!

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July 1st: creative ice cream flavor day. Trying these bad boys...

Things I Have Learned So Far In 2012

Beach Brother